What I’ve learned to be true (for me) in 2017:
1. It’s okay to say no
I can say no to relationships, to invitations and to requests at work; if it goes against my best interests and I’m in no way hurting anyone else, it’s okay to say no. I truly believe that in any relationship, it’s better that I give an honest no, then go against my own hearts desires. By saying no, I am saying yes to myself.
2. Everything happens for a reason
I’ve always believed this to some extent, but it wasn’t until recently that I began to wholeheartedly believe it. By looking at my life in retrospect I began to see this as truth (see #9).
3. I hear and see things the way I want to hear and see them
Do you ever take something one way only to find out that the other individual didn’t mean it that way at all? I mean they may have at a subconscious level, but that’s beside the point. In all cases, I hear and see things through the lenses of my own perceptions: the stories I tell myself and the beliefs I have. All sensory input goes through these lenses and becomes morphed into what I want to perceive.
4. Not everyone is going to like me
I learned that not everyone is going to like me, nor do I want them to. As I began to learn who I am at a deeper level, I came to realize that I was silencing the true version of myself. I was silencing her to please everyone else and to make them and myself more comfortable; because God forbid if I had different opinions and/or interests. With this new-found knowledge of self, I can voice my opinions (when it’s called for) and express my interests. If ppl like it great, if ppl don’t, that’s okay to. Besides, by being myself I allow room for the right people to enter my life.
5. Self-love will get me further than self-hatred ever will.
My go to motivator used to be beating myself up for not attaining a certain result or accomplishing a certain goal; boy was that the wrong thing to do! All that did was lead me down a path of self-destruction. Self-love is my new go to motivator.
6. Without health, I have nothing
While being challenged with my own health journey I learned that without it, I don’t have much. Without my health, I’m not as productive, I’m not as motivated and I can’t fully immerse myself into the things I want to enjoy; I simply can’t be my highest self. I’ve pressed pause on some areas of my life to make my health a priority and the correlation between my wellbeing and how I show up in my life is clear.
7. My external world is a result of my internal state
How I feel internally will alter how I perceive the world around me. If I feel good about myself, I will see the beauty around me; if I feel bad about myself I will see the shit around me.
8. Boundaries are key
This closely relates to number 1, its okay to say no, except that now I have rules regarding what to say no to. Sticking to them is a form of self-love and self-respect. I just need to remember that it’s okay for my boundaries to change and evolve day by day.
9. Life makes sense in retrospect
Over the last few years I said a lot of, “why me?”. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I was in a state of victimhood. I wondered why some events were taking so long move on from and why they occurred in the first place. But it wasn’t until I became honest with myself about playing the victim, that I saw the line I could cross. I could stay in a self-destructive state or I could learn from it, take the importance and move on. I learned this by looking back; only in retrospect was I able to connect the dots and realize that life was not happening to me, but rather for me. Once I made this realization, life began to make sense.
Having learned all this in 2017, I’ve decided that 2018 is the year I prioritize my internal state, because after all, my external world is a clear reflection.
Wishing love, lessons and growth for you all in 2018.