Take Responsibility

A word of caution, this is very blunt. It is not meant to be taken as a lack of empathy, but rather words of encouragement. I noticed myself making excuses and this was exactly what I needed to hear:

All too often, you blame the hardships in life on people and circumstances external to you: I can’t find a job because school is too expensive, I experience unhealthy relationships because my father left me. The truth is, you can’t do this. Until you accept that you’re the one responsible for your life, the hardships will not change. Yes, some of these circumstances may have been out of your control, BUT it is up to YOU to work with them. It is up to YOU to redirect your focus. It is up to YOU to take responsibility for your life. You need to accept that just because someone may have caused an undesirable situation, it is not their responsibility to fix it; they are not the ones prolonging the pain. I’m sorry for being blunt, but in many cases, it is you. You need to take a good look in the mirror and examine how you are perpetuating the hardships. Only when you accept responsibility, will you be able to move forward in a positive direction.

What limiting beliefs do you have that keep you in the victim mindset?

Natasha xoxo

A New Perspective On Stress

While unpacking from a recent move, I came across something I wrote in school; a perspective on stress I was trying to adopt. I remember reading this repeatedly with the hope of it altering my perspective and thus diminishing feelings of anxiety. Did it work? Sometimes. I do believe that we can retrain our brains to see things in a new, more positive light (repetition is the best way to do so). I plan on placing this wherever I’ll read it every day. If it resonates with you, I invite you to do the same.

“Stress does not exist! Stress is nothing more than socially constructed ideals planted in our minds like seeds…left to be watered by incomplete perceptions of the world around us. Therefore, stress does not exist.”

I’m curious, how do you perceive stress vs how you would like to perceive it?

 

Xoxo Natasha Mercey

Self-Compassion Writing Prompt

There’s an aspect of my life that I’ve felt a tremendous amount of shame around, that is, until I followed this writing prompt. My counsellor suggested I do it and wow, I could not stop writing. It was word vomit like I’ve never experienced before. It brought light and clarity to the issue and to top it off, it left me with solutions I didn’t even know I had! If you decide to try this, I recommend writing without judgements; forget about grammar, forget about sentence structure. Just write whatever comes to mind and I assure you, solutions and self-forgiveness will appear.

I hope this helps you as much as it has helped me.

Exploring self-compassion through writing

Part One: Which imperfections make you feel inadequate?

Everybody has something about themselves that they don’t like; something that causes them to feel shame, to feel insecure, or not “good enough.” It is the human condition to be imperfect, and feelings of failure and inadequacy are part of the experience of living a human life. Try writing about an issue you have that tends to make you feel inadequate or bad about yourself (physical appearance, work or relationship issues…) What emotions come up for you when you think about this aspect of yourself? Try to just feel your emotions exactly as they are – no more, no less – and then write about them.

Part Two: Write a letter to yourself from the perspective of an unconditionally loving imaginary friend

Now think about an imaginary friend who is unconditionally loving, accepting, kind and compassionate. Imagine that this friend can see all your strengths and all your weaknesses, including the aspect of yourself you have just been writing about. Reflect upon what this friend feels towards you, and how you are loved and accepted exactly as you are, with all your very human imperfections. This friend recognizes the limits of human nature, and is kind and forgiving towards you. In his/her great wisdom this friend understands your life history and the millions of things that have happened in your life to create you as you are in this moment. Your particular inadequacy is connected to so many things you didn’t necessarily choose: your genes, your family history, life circumstances – things that were outside of your control.

Write a letter to yourself from the perspective of this imaginary friend – focusing on the perceived inadequacy you tend to judge yourself for. What would this friend say to you about your “flaw” from the perspective of unlimited compassion? How would this friend convey the deep compassion he/she feels for you, especially for the pain you feel when you judge yourself so harshly? What would this friend write in order to remind you that you are only human, that all people have both strengths and weaknesses? And if you think this friend would suggest possible changes you should make, how would these suggestions embody feelings of unconditional understanding and compassion? As you write to yourself from the perspective of this imaginary friend, try to infuse your letter with a strong sense of his/her acceptance, kindness, caring, and desire for your health and happiness.

 

xoxo Natasha